Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, blame it on the humidity, not on your hair skills! 💁‍♀️ Embrace the frizz and pretend it's a deliberate style choice! 🌧️😄 #BadHairDay"

excuse, fault, great, hair, humidity, looks, people, think

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13 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

95 shares on Discord this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

79 shares on Threads this month:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Going viral on X:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Making waves on Reddit:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Shared recently on Slack:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Trending via Telegram:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Shared recently on Slack:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

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Trending Topics 📁

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