Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Just shared via Slack:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Trending via Messenger:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Spotted on Discord:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Spotted on WeChat:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Trending via Threads:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Freshly posted on X:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Just landed via Twitch:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Trending via Slack:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Funny text about modern habits, imagining medieval times with a humorous twist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the irony of doom scrolling in the age of knights and dragons! 🐉📜 I can almost picture a medieval town crier announcing, 'Hear ye, hear ye! Prepare thyselves for the impending doom scroll!' 🗡️📱 #MedievalProblems"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

19 shares on X this month:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

59 shares on X this month:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Just landed via Telegram:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Making waves on Threads:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

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