Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.
  • Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.
  • I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.
  • I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.
  • I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.
  • Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.