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Commentary:
"The only crisis I believe in is the one where I can't decide between pizza or tacos for dinner 🍕🌮 Who has time for just a midlife crisis when everyday feels like one big chaotic adventure? 😂 #CrisisModeActivated"

crisis, existential, humor, i, joke, life, midlife, need, perspective, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

0

2 months ago

cost, disappointment, endings, entertainment, finale, game, Game of Thrones, humor, lost, me, series, series finale, television, thrones
As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

0

2 months ago

accuse, alive, dating, deception, ever, fun, give, humor, mystery, name, privacy, real, relationship, secrecy
He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

0

2 months ago

commentary, equality, feminism, follows, gender, gender equality, gender roles, humor, humor quote, media, roles, satire, social, social commentary, social media, voice, voices, women
I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

0

2 months ago

Cairo, culture, dance, Egyptian, humor, i, injury, need, practor, pun, tried, walk
Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

0

3 days ago

break, crash, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, internet, internet outage, media, needs, outage, recalibrate, satire, social, social media, social media break, society, technology, year
Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

0

3 weeks ago

believe, brother, brothers, childhood, humor, i, Kane, kid, kids, let, misconception, Santa, undertaker, wrestling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

22 shares on Threads this month:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

71 shares on Threads this month:

I love men with a provider fetish.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Broadcasted on Discord:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Going bananas on Slack:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Spotted on Instagram:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Just shared via Reddit:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Spotted on Reddit:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Just landed via Messenger:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨