Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.
  • Never eat more than you can lift.
  • I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.
  • I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.
  • Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.
  • Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.