Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Live now on Telegram:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Just shared via Pinterest:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Just landed via Messenger:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Shared recently on Slack:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Just landed via Discord:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Going viral on TikTok:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Shared recently on Threads:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Humorous quote about astrology and earth making you sad, playful and witty in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Earth just can't escape the drama! 🌎😢 Who needs a psychic when you've got a front-row seat to the cosmic show of emotions right here on good old planet Earth? 😂 #CosmicComedy

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Threads this month:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

99 shares on Discord this month:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

20 shares on Threads this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

68 shares on Instagram this month:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People should come with warning labels.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Making waves on Twitch:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Just shared via TikTok:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Freshly posted on Threads:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Dear music, thanks!

Trending via Instagram:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Seen just now on Instagram:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Just landed via YouTube:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

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