Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?
  • I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.
  • The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.
  • I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.
  • God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?
  • You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.