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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Live now on Snapchat:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Trending via X:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Trending via Pinterest:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Just shared via Threads:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Spotted on X:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Humorous quote about coffee and energy, playful and witty text highlighting caffeine obsession.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
☕️ "I consume so much coffee, my mere presence is like a caffeine overload! Sorry for the jitters, folks – blame it on the beans!" 😄 #CoffeeFiend #CaffeineCraze

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Breaking via Telegram:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Live now on Twitch:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Shared recently on Slack:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Live now on X:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Making waves on X:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

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