Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like that self-checkout experience was more like a self-checkout disaster! Who knew a machine could be so rude and impatient? Looks like you'll be sticking to the good old human cashiers for now.

cashier, customer, customer service, humor, impatience, rudeness, self-checkout, service, shopping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

0

2 months ago

comedy, easily, fart, fear, humor, i, joke, lighthearted, me, scare
My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

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2 months ago

alert, camera, check, curiosity, door, door camera, funny habit, habit, home, home security, just, me, outside, security, stepping, stepping outside, temperature, temperature check, warm, weather, weather curiosity
Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

0

2 months ago

area, date, dating, hot, hot single, humor, interaction, irony, loneliness, online, online dating, single, singles, social, social interaction, talk, want
Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

0

2 months ago

diet, humor, lifestyle, never, pants, tight, tip, too, wear
For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

0

2 months ago

birthday, delete, everyone, expired, head, humor, i, joke, me, old, old version, self-deprecating, self-improvement, version, want, whatever
Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, being, cause, disappointment, health, humor, irony, main, mental, mental health, people, people pleaser, pleaser, pressure, self-esteem, social, social pressure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

66 shares on Threads this month:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

54 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

64 shares on X this month:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Just landed via Telegram:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Just shared via Discord:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Making waves on Slack:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨