Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Imagine the Instagram captions during the zombie apocalypse: 'Just snacking on Bob's brain, brain-utiful flavor! 💀🧠 #ApocalypseEats' 😂 Let's hope those zombies have a good eye for filters amidst all the chaos! 📸🧟"

apocalypse, brain, Instagram, social media, zombie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, learned, learning, lesson, lessons, life, life lesson, observation, people, self-reflection, watching
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

0

3 weeks ago

both, dead, driving, faster, frustration, here, honk, humor, i, impatience, just, me, parking, parking spot, rage, road, road rage, sit, someone, spot, stubbornness, traffic, us, waiting
Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

0

2 months ago

food, gut, humor, i, me, put, self-deprecation, snacks, tell, trust, weakness, where
I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

0

2 months ago

always, bandana, canine, dog, gang, gone, groomer, home, hours, humor, i, love, loyalty, only, pet, three, time, transformation
Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

0

1 month ago

cream, hearing, humor, ice, ice cream, imagination, imagine, music, night, sound, surprise, truck, unexpected
Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

0

2 months ago

chick, humor, identity, joke, pronouns, relationship, side

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Shared recently on X:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Making waves on Instagram:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Going viral on Facebook:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Going bananas on Facebook:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Going viral on WeChat:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Just shared via Messenger:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Just shared via Telegram:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨