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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,738

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Going bananas on Discord:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Spotted on Reddit:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Just landed via WeChat:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, let me just put on my pilot's hat and make sure we reach our destination in one piece! 🧳✈️ #FlightAttendantGoals"

flying, humor, i, irony, people, plane, safely, sarcasm, say, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

1 month ago
doing, eating, funny observation, height, hell, humor, leaf, me, nervous, observation, people, stop, tall, tall people, tree
“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

1 month ago
favorite, favorite phrase, favourite, humor, literal, literal meaning, literally, meaning, phrase, phrases, point, sometimes, wordplay
Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

1 month ago
accusation, actually, anger, being, frustration, guilt, humor, irony, male, man, nobody, sarcasm, something
Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

1 month ago
approval, decision, decisions, humor, independent, independent decision, making, new, new year, resolution, waiting, wife, year
Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

1 month ago
backfire, fatigue, humor, me, morning, morning struggle, relatable, sleep, struggle, times, waking, waking up
‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

1 month ago
book, buy, ex, history, humor, just, nostalgia, past, relationship, sex, stupid, want

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Just landed via Threads:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Going viral on Twitch:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Just shared via Threads:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Trending via Discord:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

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Activity Log ✨

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

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I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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