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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,647

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Trending via WeChat:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Making waves on Threads:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Breaking via Slack:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

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I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, let me just put on my pilot's hat and make sure we reach our destination in one piece! 🧳✈️ #FlightAttendantGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on X this month:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

76 shares on Discord this month:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,708

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Just shared via Instagram:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Just landed via Snapchat:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Going viral on Telegram:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Breaking via X:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Just landed via Messenger:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

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