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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Just landed via Discord:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Trending via Telegram:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Just shared via Threads:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Going viral on Twitch:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

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I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.
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Commentary:
"Admitting mistakes and apologizing? Sounds like a rare species in the human world! 🙈 Finding those gems is like hunting for a four-leaf clover in a field of dandelions! 🍀 Who knew humility and honesty could be such elusive traits! 😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

82 shares on Telegram this month:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Going viral on TikTok:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Spreading quickly via X:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Just landed via Telegram:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Trending via Threads:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Just shared via Threads:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

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