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Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet, refreshing sensation of deodorant post-shave – a true wake-up call for the armpits! 💪🪒 Who knew that feeling alive could involve a spritz of freshness and a smooth shave? It's the little things in life, folks! 😄 #ArmpitAwakening"

alive, armpits, care, deodorant, feel, humor, hygiene, i, personal, personal care, shaving, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

1 month ago
comma, commas, creativity, food, garlic, heart, humor, measure, writing
College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

1 month ago
bible, college, escape, even, frustration, here, humor, life, me, once, somebody, student, student life
We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

1 month ago
being, censorship, communication, free, free speech, humor, intelligence, intelligent, live, offended, offense, people, society, speech, stupid, stupidity, time, where
You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

1 month ago
am, aspirations, choices, grow, grow up, humor, i, life, life choices, possibility, tired
Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

3 months ago
animal, breeze, enjoying, here, humor, i, just, nature, nighttime, outdoors, owl, solitude, tree, trees
Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

2 months ago
bathroom, cleaning, cockroach, domestic, domestic life, everything, humor, husband, kitchen, life, prank, relationship, thought, today, yesterday

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Just landed via YouTube:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Just shared via Slack:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Just landed via WeChat:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Making waves on TikTok:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

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Activity Log ✨

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

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I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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