Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.
  • Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.
  • The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.
  • I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.
  • Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.
  • I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.