Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.
  • These aliens are taking forever.
  • If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.
  • I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.
  • Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?
  • I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.