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I bet Medusa's hair-washing routine was lit 🔥! I mean, can you imagine the serpentine symphony of slithering snakes and sssssoothing suds? 🐍🚿 It was probably a real hair-raising experience! 💇‍♀️ #MedusaManeMaintenance

hair, humor, i, Medusa, mythology, night, sound, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

1 month ago
1900s, accidentally, calorie, calorie deficit, deficit, diet, everyone, food, humor, i, knows, loss, mistake, old fashioned, old-fashioned phrase, phrase, said, weight, weight loss
Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

1 month ago
art, beauty, body, butt, human, human butt, humor, natural, natural beauty, nature, sometimes, tree, trees, waterfall
The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

1 month ago
activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, marriage, reason, relationship, trend, wedding
I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

1 month ago
bad, bad news, broken, broken machine, cream, denial, denied, ever, humor, i, ice, ice cream, job, machine, McDonald’s, news, people, told, ugly, used, work
Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

1 day ago
complain, cute, humor, i, irony, kid, kids, parent, spoil, spoiled
What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

1 month ago
age, decision, humor, i, mean, means, money, regret, spending, tattoo, trust, youth

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

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Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

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Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

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When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

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Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

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Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

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Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

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Freshly posted on Instagram:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

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I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

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If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

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I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

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I can feel your energy from two planets away.

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I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

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Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

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I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

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