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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,287

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Trending via Instagram:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Breaking via Telegram:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Trending via YouTube:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Breaking via Slack:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

2 months ago

0

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Introducing the newest member of the dairy dating scene – Cheese! 🧀🧀 They say you are what you eat, and I guess this person really takes their love for cheese to the next level! 😄 Say cheese, and let the gouda times roll! 📸 #CheeseLove

cheese, food, humor, i, love, meet, name, relationship, significant, significant other

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

0

2 months ago

going, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, preoccupation, regret, revenge, sarcasm, therapist, therapy
You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

0

2 months ago

corner, hip-height, humor, hurt, injury, me, sarcasm, table, wit
The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

0

2 months ago

after, alone, family, gatherings, holidays, home, introvert, recharge, solitude, spend, urge, week
May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, humor, kick, morning, motivation, reality, wake up
Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

0

2 months ago

celestial, galaxy, humor, joke, Nasa, playful, selfie, selfie humor, space, star
Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

0

5 months ago

asleep, better, book, even, everyone, middle, nice, night, peaceful, quiet, reading, relaxation, sleep, solitude, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

My lips could use some attention today.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Just shared via X:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Making waves on Threads:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Trending via Snapchat:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Going viral on WeChat:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Breaking via TikTok:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Shared recently on Threads:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

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