Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.
  • A coffee the size of Manhattan please.
  • Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.
  • You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.
  • Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.
  • I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.