Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,964

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Seen just now on Slack:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Just landed via Reddit:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Breaking via Discord:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Spotted on YouTube:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Just landed via Discord:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to change the world without the source code is like trying to cook without a recipe – disastrous! 🌎💻 #DeveloperDilemma"

change, code, humor, i, irony, love, me, programming, source, technology, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, i, job, laziness, motivation, never, nobody, wanted, wants, work
I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

0

1 month ago

appearance, craving, fine, food, hunger, hungry, inside, joke, outside, self-deprecation
I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

0

4 months ago

cooking, cooking fail, drank, everything, fail, garbage, hand, hand towel, humor, i, kitchen, literally, over, right, shoulder, towel, understand, while, why, wine
I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

0

2 months ago

compatibility, dating, frustration, humor, i, love, nerf, people, relationships, romance, someone, times, understand
Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

0

2 months ago

again, Britain, case, catchphrase, clever, forename, hello, humor, i, identity, joke, missed, real, spy, surname, tell
My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

0

2 months ago

account, empty, financial, financial struggle, Halloween, humor, inside, joke, just, money, savings, savings account, spirit, Spirit Halloween, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Threads this month:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

25 shares on Discord this month:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

22 shares on Threads this month:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

100 shares on Slack this month:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Making waves on WeChat:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Going viral on Facebook:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Breaking via Messenger:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Just landed via Threads:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Just shared via Messenger:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Just shared via WeChat:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Seen just now on Slack:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨