Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.
  • In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”
  • Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?
  • I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.