24 funny mother quotes - Wordgag

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

May 26, 2026

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

May 26, 2026

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

May 26, 2026

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

May 25, 2026

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

May 23, 2026

Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby Is this guy bothering you?

May 23, 2026

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

May 22, 2026

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

May 22, 2026

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

May 21, 2026

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

May 21, 2026

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

May 21, 2026

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

May 20, 2026

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

May 19, 2026

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

May 19, 2026

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

May 18, 2026

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

Apr 1, 2026

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Apr 1, 2026

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Mar 31, 2026

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Mar 31, 2026

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Mar 31, 2026

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Mar 31, 2026

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Mar 30, 2026

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Mar 30, 2026

A selfie only a mother could like.

Mar 29, 2026