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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

16 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Just landed via Telegram:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Breaking via Facebook:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Trending via Pinterest:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Just landed via Twitch:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Spotted on X:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Live now on TikTok:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Trending via Telegram:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

6 months ago

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If I were Noah, I'd definitely stir things up by bringing three of every animal – talk about a wild and chaotic boat party! 🦁🐧🐍 Who needs peace and tranquility when you can have a full-blown zoo on a boat? 🚢🐪🦒 Just imagine the magical chaos and the epic tale that would unfold! 🌪️🌊 #NoahsDramaticArk"

animal, biblical, bring, creativity, drama, every, humor, i, ID, just, Noah, storytelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

16 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Making waves on Twitch:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Just shared via Twitch:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Seen just now on Threads:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Going viral on X:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Trending via Facebook:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Just shared via Reddit:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Making waves on TikTok:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

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