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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Just shared via Reddit:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Just landed via WeChat:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Going viral on Slack:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Going viral on X:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

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If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.
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Commentary:
"Life: the ultimate teacher that never gives you a break 📚✏️ Maybe if we all collectively failed the lesson, it might just stop teaching them! 🤔🛑 #LifeLessons"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

56 shares on Threads this month:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Icarus loved hot wings.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

34 shares on Threads this month:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Spotted on YouTube:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Trending via WhatsApp:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Live now on YouTube:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Making waves on TikTok:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

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