Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.
  • If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.
  • Smile like a monkey with a new banana.
  • Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.
  • Life is short, flirt with me!
  • Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.