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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Just shared via Threads:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Trending via Telegram:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Spreading quickly via X:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

0
If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.
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Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of indifference – a symphony of apathy playing in the background of life's drama. Turn up the volume, my friend, for the world is your stage and you are the lead in the hit production of "I Couldn't Care Less: The Musical."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

84 shares on Telegram this month:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Just shared via TikTok:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Spotted on Instagram:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Shared recently on Slack:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Trending via Snapchat:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Spotted on Messenger:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

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