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Commentary:
"Hey there, if you see yourself reflected in me, it might be time to hit up that therapist's office 🛋️. Don't worry, we all need a little help sometimes! 🤪 #SelfAwarenessGoals"

advice, help, humor, me, relate

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

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2 months ago

beautiful, blowing, call, humor, phone, severe, severe thunderstorm warning, thunderstorm, warning, woman, women
Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

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4 months ago

emotion, emotionally, humor, joke, jokes, laugh, own, self-awareness, stability, stable
For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

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2 months ago

birthday, delete, everyone, expired, head, humor, i, joke, me, old, old version, self-deprecating, self-improvement, version, want, whatever
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

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2 months ago

accident, crime, date, humor, joke, me, playful, relationship, romance, trust, well
How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

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2 months ago

change, comedy, humor, joke, jokes, lightbulb, pun, take, us
There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

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4 weeks ago

beautiful, being, celibacy, dating, due, existence, forced, frustration, horny, humor, lack, life, living, man, me, men, modern, modern life, woman, women, world, worthy, worthy man

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

13 shares on Reddit this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

75 shares on Threads this month:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

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Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Just landed via TikTok:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Just landed via Discord:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Trending via WeChat:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Just shared via WeChat:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

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If you relate to me, get some help!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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