Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Spotted on X:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Making waves on Telegram:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Going viral on Threads:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Like a fine wine, annoyance takes time to mature 🍷🕰️. So sit back, relax, and let me annoy you slowly but surely 😉🤪 #AnnoyanceGoals"

annoying, give, know, pretty, sure, think, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

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2 months ago

alien, anticipation, extraterrestrial, humor, invasion, joke, patiently, sci-fi, waiting
It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

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2 months ago

accident, car, curb, driving, feed, humor, joke, little, okay, sometimes, treat
It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

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1 week ago

attention, attention seeker, birthday, conversation, embarrassing, embarrassment, every, feel, humor, me, need, seeker, tell, today
Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

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5 months ago

baby, determination, face, grab, humor, just, literally, mischief, parenting, step, toddler, want
I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

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2 months ago

activity, alcohol, beer, book, drafts, drinking, fun, fun activity, humor, humor about alcohol, lot, through, writing
Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

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15 hours ago

activity, blunt, music, relaxation, self-care, smoking, solo, solo activity

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

42 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Imagine being social on social media.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Just shared via Threads:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Live now on Snapchat:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Making waves on Telegram:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨