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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Just shared via Telegram:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Spotted on Facebook:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Spotted on Messenger:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Just shared via WeChat:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.
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Commentary:
"If life gives you lemons, I'll create a lemonade stand that sells theoretical physics lessons 🍋📚 Who needs solutions when you can have mind-bending puzzles? Let's make chaos fashionable again! 🔥💥 #ProblemSolverExtraordinaire"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Facebook this month:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Going viral on Reddit:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Trending via Messenger:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Going viral on TikTok:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

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