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Commentary:
Oh, the classic case of present-you leaving a mess for future-you to deal with! 🕰️🤦‍♂️ Don't worry, future-you is probably off somewhere brewing up a master plan for revenge… 🤨💥 Better watch your back! 🤣👀

future, humor, me, next, pissing, problem, procrastination, self, time, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

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2 months ago

cinema, days, days off, desire, entertainment, feast, five, fun, high, i, laptop, relaxation, return, row, too, where, work
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

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5 months ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman
It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

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5 months ago

behavior, death, die, every, going, humanity, irony, kindness, mortality, nicer, single, social, social behavior, us, weird
An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

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2 months ago

apple, away, boredom, daily, daily routine, day, doctor, fun, humor, keep, keeps, routine, silly
Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

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2 months ago

financial, getting, home, humor, me, money, mortgage, paid, responsibility, staying, staying in, worth
20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

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2 months ago

20s, 30s, 40s, aging, generational, humor, laughter, life, life stages, lol, reactions, stages, WTF

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on X this month:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

61 shares on Discord this month:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

19 shares on X this month:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Shared recently on Twitch:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Just shared via X:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Live now on Instagram:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Going viral on Messenger:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨