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Well, it sounds like someone's got their daily priorities sorted – coffee for the morning buzz, wine for the evening relaxation, and cheese for that delicious snack attack! 🍷☕️🧀 Looks like this person knows the key ingredients for a well-balanced *ahem* lifestyle!

40, 6, adulting, beverages, cheese, coffee, drinking, humor, percentages, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

1 month ago
chances, fat, humor, i, irony, Jim, preferences, slim
Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

1 month ago
fire, hope, humor, joke, liar, own, pant, sarcasm
Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

1 month ago
agreement, commitment, confusion, expectation, good, humor, lot, me, meeting, realization, response, saying, sounds, workplace
Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

1 month ago
attitude, comeback, compass, disrespect, humor, i, me, moral, moral compass, respond, response
I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

1 month ago
accident, accidentally, coffee, cops, here, humor, i, joke, large, misunderstanding, police, Starbucks, venti
I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

1 month ago
bad, bad news, broken, broken machine, cream, denial, denied, ever, humor, i, ice, ice cream, job, machine, McDonald’s, news, people, told, ugly, used, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

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Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

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“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

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Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

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I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Just landed via WeChat:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Just shared via Messenger:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Just landed via YouTube:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Just shared via WeChat:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

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I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Ugh, but profoundly.

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

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I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

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