Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate comedian pronouns – ha/ha! 🤣 Who needs he/him or she/her when you've got laughter on your side? A comedian's pronouns speak volumes, one joke at a time! 😂 #hahapronouns"

comedian, humor, joke, pronoun, pronouns, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

0

5 months ago

age, around, build, i, memory, riding, say, surprise, town
The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

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2 months ago

appetite, conflict, destruction, disaster, food, humor, irony, me, recipe, relationship
Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

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2 months ago

change, climate, climate change, commentary, courage, everyone, gods, humor, irony, sacrifice, satire, social, social commentary, virgin
Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

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14 hours ago

going, humor, jacket, me, money, rejection, spend, spending, woman, women
I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

0

2 months ago

cool, even, frustration, humor, i, ID, joke, know, landlubber, life, lose, losing, losing cool, me, nautical, sailor, sailor joke, sarcastic, sea, sea life
Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

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2 months ago

baby, eat, exhaustion, humor, multitasking, parenting, routine, sleep, work, works

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Twitch this month:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Salt is just angry sugar.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

99 shares on Threads this month:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

56 shares on X this month:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Going viral on Threads:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Just shared via Slack:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Just landed via WeChat:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Going viral on Instagram:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Spotted on YouTube:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨