Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Just shared via Telegram:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Making waves on Instagram:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Spotted on X:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, don't worry, sweetie! Seeing those shiny credit cards might just make your day sparkle as bright as those numbers on the front! 💳✨ Just remember, swiping doesn't count as exercise, no matter how many times you do it! 😜 #BadDaySolutions

bad, bad day, card, cards, cheer, cheer up, credit, credit card, cute, cute pics, day, having, humor, joke, light-hearted, me, pics, send

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I disagree with my politics.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not feeling very worky today.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Just landed via Facebook:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Breaking via Instagram:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Spotted on WeChat:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

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