I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

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So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

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I’m tired of things costing money.

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Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

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My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

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My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

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Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.