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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1132 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,294

Funny Quotes Topics

14,205

Funny Quotes Images

11,294

1 minute ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Shared recently on X:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Making waves on YouTube:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Seen just now on Slack:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Just landed via YouTube:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Going viral on WeChat:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Spotted on Slack:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Spotted on WeChat:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Home » Funny Quick Quotes

22 Funny quick quotes

Funny quick quotes are the perfect little bursts of laughter you need to brighten your day 😄✨ Whether you’re scrolling through social media or sharing a chuckle with friends, these witty one-liners pack a punch of humor in just a few words 🎉😂 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as you dive into a world where brevity meets belly laughs! 😜📲

New funny quick quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Commentary:
"Just in case of a high-noon showdown with the reflection sheriff! 🤠🔫😆"
1 week ago
Share →: I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Commentary:
Silent but not-so-deadly detective work in progress! 😆🕵️‍♂️💨
1 week ago
Share →: Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Commentary:
Trying to find the point feels like trying to find WiFi in the woods… good luck with that! 🧐📡🌳
2 weeks ago
Share →: Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Commentary:
Guess I'll start practicing my on-the-spot treadmill skills for ghost season! 👻🏃‍♂️😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Commentary:
Family reunion? More like a *reality* check! 😂🧹🚫💼
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Commentary:
Navigating adulting like it's an advanced-level video game and I accidentally skipped the tutorial 😅🎮📈
3 weeks ago
Share →: Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Commentary:
"When counting sheep turns into dodging them like an action movie, you'll know it's decision time! 🐑💤💥😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Speedy replies confirmed as camouflage for workplace shenanigans! 😂📧💨 #EmailNinja"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Commentary:
"Huh? Oh wait, my brain just woke up! 😂🔄#BrainLag"
4 weeks ago
Share →: I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Commentary:
"When you reply so fast, even your Wi-Fi gets jealous! 📶😂"

For even more funny quick quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny quick quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1132 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,294

Funny Quotes Topics

14,205

Funny Quotes Images

11,294

1 minute ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Trending via Snapchat:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Reported on Snapchat:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Freshly posted on X:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Freshly posted on X:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Breaking via X:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Making waves on Reddit:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

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