Commentary:
I guess "Call Me Maybe" was just a beta test for stakeholder meetings 🎶📞🙃
27 Funny quick quotes
After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.
Commentary:
Looks like Santa's switching to a forehead-only delivery service this year! 🎅💸💋
A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
Commentary:
Sidewalks: the unsung heroes of every stumble! 🚶♂️😂🌟
This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.
Commentary:
"Just in case of a high-noon showdown with the reflection sheriff! 🤠🔫😆"
I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.
Commentary:
Silent but not-so-deadly detective work in progress! 😆🕵️♂️💨
Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?
Commentary:
Trying to find the point feels like trying to find WiFi in the woods… good luck with that! 🧐📡🌳
Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.
Commentary:
Guess I'll start practicing my on-the-spot treadmill skills for ghost season! 👻🏃♂️😂
I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.
Commentary:
Family reunion? More like a *reality* check! 😂🧹🚫💼
I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.
Commentary:
Navigating adulting like it's an advanced-level video game and I accidentally skipped the tutorial 😅🎮📈
Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.
Commentary:
"When counting sheep turns into dodging them like an action movie, you'll know it's decision time! 🐑💤💥😂"