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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has downloaded:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has copied:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect β€˜before’ picture.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has shared:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has shared:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has downloaded:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via X:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Spotted on X:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Going viral on YouTube:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Just landed via Reddit:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Going bananas on X:

β€œGen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Just shared via Facebook:

β€œYou’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Playful quote about personal growth and humor, expressing frustration with life's lessons.
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Commentary:
Oh universe, maybe it's time to switch up the curriculum then! πŸ€“πŸŒŒ Lesson learned: When life keeps throwing shade, just throw some sunglasses on and wink back πŸ˜‰ #StillLearningButStylish

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Overthinkaholic!

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

86 shares on Slack this month:

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

75 shares on Discord this month:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

65 shares on Slack this month:

A toddler in their β€œwhy” phase makes you realize how little you know.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Calling someone a β€œtough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has viewed:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has viewed:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has shared:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Slack:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Shared recently on X:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Just landed via TikTok:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Spotted on Snapchat:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Spotted on TikTok:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Broadcasted on Discord:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Breaking via YouTube:

Peloton guy yelling β€œtwo more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Just landed via Threads:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

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