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Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

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Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

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If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

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The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

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Weirdos gonna weird.

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The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

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Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

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Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

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Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

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I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.