Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.
  • Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.
  • Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.
  • Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.
  • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
  • I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.