Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.
  • My parents think they know me.
  • Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.
  • I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.
  • If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.
  • Occupation: the ugly friend!