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Someone from has bookmarked:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from has bookmarked:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from has viewed:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from has copied:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from has downloaded:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from has viewed:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from has shared:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from has downloaded:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from has shared:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

51 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Seen just now on Threads:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Trending via X:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Just landed via Threads:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Jan 22, 2025

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I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

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Commentary:
Sounds like a classic case of snack emergency! 🚨🍕 Don't worry, just think of it as your daily workout routine – going up and down the stairs to fetch food is great exercise! 💪😄 Who needs a stair climber when you have a hungry stomach to motivate you? 😉 #SnackRescueMission

dilemma, downstairs, food, funny situation, help, hunger, rescue, send, situation, upstairs

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Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!
This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.
Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.
Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.
Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.
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Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.
Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.
A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

51 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.
Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?
Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.
The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.
I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.
I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.
My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.
Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.
I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has downloaded:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from has shared:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from has copied:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from has shared:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from has bookmarked:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from has bookmarked:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from has shared:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from has downloaded:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from has downloaded:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Just landed via Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Making waves on Facebook:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Breaking via Telegram:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Making waves on TikTok:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Just landed via Twitch:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Breaking via Twitch:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

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