I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.