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Sounds like a classic case of snack emergency! 🚨🍕 Don't worry, just think of it as your daily workout routine – going up and down the stairs to fetch food is great exercise! 💪😄 Who needs a stair climber when you have a hungry stomach to motivate you? 😉 #SnackRescueMission

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

1 month ago

beer, breakfast, day, food, humor, important, morning, most
“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

2 months ago

2012, culture, date, humor, joke, Mayan, prediction, prophecy, stop, told, warning
I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

1 month ago

age, humor, life, phone, technology, upgrade, where, working
If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

2 months ago

dollar, every, humor, i, love, start, thinking, thought, time
Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

1 month ago

challenge, coffee, drink, humor, impossible, just, know, laying, laying down
I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

2 months ago

argue, argument, confidence, conversation, explain, humor, i, just, right, sarcasm

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

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The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

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I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

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I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

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Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

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My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Just landed via X:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Just landed via Reddit:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Seen just now on X:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Going bananas on X:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

I need a day off from myself.

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

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I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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