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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Going viral on X:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Live now on Telegram:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Live now on Messenger:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
It's the ultimate Tupperware treasure hunt – searching through a sea of containers only to come up empty-handed when it's lid time! 🤦‍♂️🥡 Who knew Tupperware could be so elusive? 🕵️‍♀️ Remember, folks, always match your lids with care! 🙈 #TupperwareTroubles

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Threads this month:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

61 shares on Threads this month:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

59 shares on Threads this month:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

13 shares on X this month:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Going viral on Threads:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Just shared via Messenger:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Just shared via X:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Live now on Discord:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Live now on X:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

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