Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.