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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Making waves on Discord:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Just landed via Facebook:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Spotted on Facebook:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Trending via Twitch:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Just shared via Slack:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

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Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.
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Commentary:
"Who needs a gym when you can just dodge acquaintance ambushes for your daily fitness routine? 🚶‍♂️💨 #StepsAchieved #DodgingSkillsOnPoint"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WeChat this month:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

72 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

91 shares on Slack this month:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

92 shares on Slack this month:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

46 shares on Discord this month:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

76 shares on Threads this month:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Freshly posted on X:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Trending via TikTok:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Trending via Telegram:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

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