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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Making waves on Threads:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Trending via Messenger:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Breaking via TikTok:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Trending via Messenger:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

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Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like they went on a horizontal mountain climbing adventure! 🏔️🚶‍♂️ Who knew you could get the thrill without the uphill struggle? 😄 #FlatMountainClimbingGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Messenger this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Shared recently on X:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Breaking via Pinterest:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Breaking via Telegram:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Breaking via WeChat:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

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