Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.