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Commentary:
"Plot twist: Women created the beard trend so they wouldn't have to deal with beard trimmings in the washbasin anymore! 🧔🚫💦 #GeniusPlan #NoMoreCleanup"

beards, cleaning, humor, men, relationship, sexy, shaving, sick, washbasin, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

0

2 months ago

best, billionaire, heart, humor, interests, irony, me, sarcasm, trust, wealth
Dance like China isn’t watching.

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2 months ago

China, dance, expression, freedom, humor, irony, watching
I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

0

2 months ago

alert, bracelet, ever, humor, i, irony, just, life, life alert, notification, notified, self-deprecation
Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

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4 months ago

beautiful, beauty, behind, every, eyesight, health, humor, iron, issue, issues, low, low iron, poor, tummy, tummy issue, woman
I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

0

3 months ago

am, cake, eat, else, food, hell, humor, i, idiom, misunderstanding, phrase, understand
The goal is to make your therapist cry.

0

3 months ago

cry, emotional, goal, humor, therapist

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Threads this month:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

81 shares on Discord this month:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

91 shares on Threads this month:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Shared recently on Instagram:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Trending via Instagram:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Spotted on WeChat:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Just shared via Facebook:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Freshly posted on Slack:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Dance like China isn’t watching.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨