Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Plot twist: Women created the beard trend so they wouldn't have to deal with beard trimmings in the washbasin anymore! 🧔🚫💦 #GeniusPlan #NoMoreCleanup"

beards, cleaning, humor, men, relationship, sexy, shaving, sick, washbasin, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chest, girl, girls, humor, i, laid, last, laugh, laughing, me, moment, relationship, time
I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

0

2 months ago

always, concern, cycle, friends, humor, i, media, mood, over, relationship, social, social media, tell, Tweets
Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

0

2 months ago

back, cancellation, humor, just, Monday, new, news, relaxation, sleep, turn, wake, wake up, wish
I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

0

2 months ago

consider, dark, dark web, engine, Google, Google result, humor, i, internet, internet humor, joke, online, online joke, page, result, results, search, search engine, second, web, web page
Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

0

2 months ago

convenience, design, food, handles, humor, practicality, sandwich, suitcase
My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

0

2 months ago

always, busy, coworker, coworkers, distraction, humor, just, memory, office, password, remember, think, trying, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

23 shares on Threads this month:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Going bananas on Snapchat:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Broadcasted on Discord:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Seen just now on X:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Trending via TikTok:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨