Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
🔬 "Met a microbiologist once. They're a lot bigger than I imagined. Turns out, their world is just as tiny as the bacteria they study! 🦠 Who knew science could make a person feel so small yet so significant at the same time?"

bigger, expectation, funny observation, humor, i, joke, lot, microbiologist, observation, once, science, size

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, humor, Monday, procrastination, still, stillness, week, work, work week
Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

finds, gift, humor, irony, just, new, person, tomorrow, umbrella
Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

0

1 month ago

around, bluntness, communication, eating, humor, humor about communication, idiom, phrase, sarcasm, saying, stop, whatever, witty
Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

0

1 month ago

changing, dating, give, give up, humor, humor quote, i, joke, relationship, relationship status, single, status
I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

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1 month ago

activity, day, eat, Facebook, humor, i, internet, internet activity, life, mark, Mark Zuckerberg, media, online, online life, social, social media, spend, tech, tech humor, zuckerberg
I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

0

2 months ago

after, asked, breakfast, burrito, craving, decision, food, humor, i, myself, self-talk, wanted, yes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Going viral on Threads:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Trending via Telegram:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Making waves on Messenger:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Live now on Snapchat:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Just landed via Twitch:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨