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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Trending via Telegram:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Live now on Slack:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Making waves on Instagram:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I would prefer not to.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Just landed via Pinterest:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Funny text highlighting email overload and stress with a playful quake metaphor.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Earthquakes be like: 'Did you really need to shake things up, when a simple email would have sufficed? 📧💥' #tremorcommunications"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Later is the best time to do anything.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Just landed via Threads:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Making waves on Discord:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Going viral on Slack:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Spotted on Facebook:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Spotted on Slack:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Making waves on YouTube:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Going viral on TikTok:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

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