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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Shared recently on Threads:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Just shared via Twitch:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Just shared via WeChat:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny text highlighting email overload and stress with a playful quake metaphor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Earthquakes be like: 'Did you really need to shake things up, when a simple email would have sufficed? 📧💥' #tremorcommunications"

communication, earthquake, earthquakes, efficiency, email, humor, sarcasm, technology, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

98 shares on Slack this month:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Just shared via Twitch:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Going viral on Reddit:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Just landed via YouTube:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Making waves on Instagram:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Going viral on X:

I need a day off from myself.

Just shared via Instagram:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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