Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

Spotted on Messenger:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Trending via Slack:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Making waves on TikTok:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Going viral on X:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Making waves on Facebook:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

2 weeks ago

Humorous text about teeth and meth, playful and cheeky in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of math and dental hygiene combined! 😁✨ Who knew arithmetic and oral health could go hand in hand? It's all about that simple meth, folks! Just make sure you're not subtracting too many teeth from the equation! 🦷➖🤓"

humor, joke, meth, people, simple, teeth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

1 week ago

fangs, floss, hard, humor, hygiene, irony, mirror, reflection, vampire
Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

2 weeks ago

animal, baaaa, humor, joke, pun, sheep, walk, wordplay
Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

1 week ago

beverage, coke, crisp, diet, Diet Coke, drink, humor, i, moan, refreshment, soda
Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

3 weeks ago

compliment, confidence, flirting, humor, keep, man, men, particular, pretty, reason, relationship, shit, tell, woman
I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

4 days ago

confidence, contact, curiosity, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, know, mystery, people, social, social interaction, something
Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

2 weeks ago

burger, Burger King, existence, fast, fast food, feudal, feudal system, food, food joke, humor, joke, king, monarchy, satire, system

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Going viral on Instagram:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Trending via Discord:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Shared recently on Threads:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

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