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Commentary:
"Well, nothing says 'Texas charm' quite like a warm slice of toast with a side of chainsaw massacres. Just make sure to butter your bread before revving up that chainsaw!"

chainsaw, favorite, humor, massacre, quirky, stereotype, Texa, things, toast

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

0

1 month ago

baby, corner, discipline, humor, maybe, parenting, put, wants
People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

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2 months ago

allowed, customer, customer interaction, customer service, day, employee, employee humor, fight, Fridays, frustration, humor, interaction, management, people, relief, service, should, stress, stress management, stress relief, work, work frustration, workplace
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

0

2 months ago

diamond, humor, idea, love, relationship, romantic, setting
“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

0

2 months ago

40, back pain, dream, earworm, music
What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

0

2 months ago

activity, advice, climbing, fun, fun activity, humor, lot, misunderstanding, mountain, mountain climbing, people, understand
If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

0

5 months ago

back, humor, i, ID, karma, revenge, watch, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Threads this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Making waves on Facebook:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Breaking via X:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Going viral on WeChat:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Shared recently on Discord:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Just shared via Messenger:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨