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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Going viral on X:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Spotted on Threads:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

0
My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic dilemma of having neighbors with questionable taste in music 🎵🙉 They might not know it, but they're getting a free concert every day! 🤣 Just imagine the internal struggle as they try to resist jamming out to some unexpected tunes coming from next door! 🎶😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

19 shares on YouTube this month:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

66 shares on YouTube this month:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

95 shares on Slack this month:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,243

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Going bananas on Slack:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Breaking via Facebook:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Going bananas on Twitch:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Just shared via Slack:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Seen just now on Slack:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Trending via Telegram:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Spotted on Discord:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

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