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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2325 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,487

Funny Quotes Topics

15,191

Funny Quotes Images

12,487

4 minutes ago

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Just shared via Instagram:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Trending via Telegram:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Just shared via Telegram:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Live now on Messenger:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Reported on TikTok:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Jan 20, 2025

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

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Commentary:
Oh, the classic dilemma of having neighbors with questionable taste in music 🎵🙉 They might not know it, but they're getting a free concert every day! 🤣 Just imagine the internal struggle as they try to resist jamming out to some unexpected tunes coming from next door! 🎶😄

context, enjoyment, good, humor, listen, listening, music, neighbors

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2325 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,487

Funny Quotes Topics

15,191

Funny Quotes Images

12,487

4 minutes ago

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Reported on Slack:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Spotted on Threads:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Spotted on WeChat:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Just landed via Threads:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Just landed via X:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Reported on Twitch:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

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