Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs tissues when you've got onion chopping skills like mine 💪🧅💦 Emotions? I'll take them straight up, no chopping required 😂🔪😢"

brag, chop, cooking, cry, crying, emotions, humor, i, joke, onion, skill

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

0

3 months ago

clock, clock out, ready, tomorrow, work
Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

0

2 months ago

being, drug, education, gateway, humor, intelligence, knowledge, less, reading, stupid
I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

0

2 months ago

art, body, body art, confidence, humor, i, irony, let, place, self-esteem, someone, tattoo, visibility, wish
Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, behavior, comedy, cost-free, costs, digital, digital interaction, dollars, guys, humor, interaction, internet, online, online behavior, remember, strangers, zero
You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

0

4 weeks ago

comfort, comfort zone, humor, interaction, invitation, leave, mine, personality, should, social, social interaction, zone
Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

0

2 months ago

bag, chocolate, confidence, delicious, humor, self-control, snack, temptation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Slack this month:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

36 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Broadcasted on X:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Just landed via TikTok:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Trending via Facebook:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Making waves on Slack:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Just landed via X:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Trending via WeChat:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨