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Commentary:
"Who needs tissues when you've got onion chopping skills like mine 💪🧅💦 Emotions? I'll take them straight up, no chopping required 😂🔪😢"

brag, chop, cooking, cry, crying, emotions, humor, i, joke, onion, skill

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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39 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Shared recently on X:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Just landed via Discord:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Going viral on Reddit:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Just landed via Facebook:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Shared recently on X:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨