Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Commentary:
โ€œWho needs tissues when youโ€™ve got onion chopping skills like mine ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿง…๐Ÿ’ฆ Emotions? Iโ€™ll take them straight up, no chopping required ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ˜ขโ€

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.