Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs tissues when you've got onion chopping skills like mine 💪🧅💦 Emotions? I'll take them straight up, no chopping required 😂🔪😢"

brag, chop, cooking, cry, crying, emotions, humor, i, joke, onion, skill

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life begins when you can afford it.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

98 shares on Threads this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Just landed via Slack:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Making waves on TikTok:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Spotted on Slack:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨