Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Breaking via Twitch:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, who needs alcohol for a little dose of stupidity anyway? Some of us are naturally gifted in that department!"

alcohol, brag, confidence, humor, i, need, self-deprecation, stupid

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

1 month ago
activity, alone, alone time, avoidance, concert, DaBaby, event, fun, fun activity, humor, i, introvert, music, music event, need, social, social avoidance, time
Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

1 month ago
humor, landing, looking, love, me, much, people, plane, relationship, second, someone, standing, travel
Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

1 month ago
another, conclusion, discussion, end, everything, humor, irony, meeting, meetings, needs, office, procrastination, work
Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

2 months ago
block, brain, brain fog, confusion, fog, grounded, humor, mental, mental block, notice, thoughts
On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

1 month ago
bikini, body, body image, cake, choice, dilemma, hand, humor, ID, image, indulgence, love, sexy
I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

1 month ago
age, gender, girls, humor, identity, man, old, self-deprecation, year

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Live now on Instagram:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏