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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Going viral on X:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Making waves on Discord:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Making waves on X:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Making waves on Instagram:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Going bananas on X:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Making waves on TikTok:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Shared recently on Telegram:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

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Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.
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Commentary:
"Panda bears: setting the bar high for being cute and clueless at the same time 🐼🤪 Who knew being a lovable goofball could be so endearing? It's like they're saying 'I may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but hey, look at my fluffy cuteness!' 😆🐼 #PandaWisdom"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

77 shares on Slack this month:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Just shared via Facebook:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Just shared via Discord:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Going bananas on X:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Trending via Snapchat:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Breaking via TikTok:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Breaking via Telegram:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

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