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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

47 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Just landed via Instagram:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Shared recently on X:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Being strange is exhausting.

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

6 months ago

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

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Commentary:
"Watching people bounce around all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning like they just popped out of a Teletubby episode 🌞🤪 Let's face it, not all of us are cut out for that level of morning cheerfulness. Some of us need a little more coffee and a lot more snooze button before we're ready to tackle the day 😴☕️ Just call us the Not-So-Bright-Eyed and Definitely Not-Bushy-T

acting, chill, energized, happy, humor, morning, people, sarcasm, Teletubby, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

47 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Just shared via WeChat:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Just shared via Slack:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

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