Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.
  • No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.
  • If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’
  • The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.
  • My favorite color is money.
  • A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”